Previously I introduced the concept of the 7 Roles in my life. I believe these are the 7 Roles that builds your worth and makes you worthy. These 7 Roles are not necessarily fulfilled every day, although I do reflect on them often to keep them front and center. Before I brag on my epic Best Day let’s revisit what the roles are:
Corporate Leader: Role model for my women colleagues and driven to rise to top.
Entrepreneur: An active mind has many ideas, so turn them into income.
Matriarch: Build independent skills in my son and not to let Autism win.
Queen: Maintain a comfy home for us all to be proud of.
Athlete: Keep moving and the diet on point.
Angel: Feed my soul and be a good friend by active listening.
Goddess: Make him know I desire him in many ways.
The Best Day
7am: Isaac wakes up. How do I know? I hear Darth Vader through the baby monitor, because for safety reasons he is locked in his room. So that is my cue to get up, get dressed, and go hug my son good morning. I put on a workout outfit because I am determined to do some weights. (Athlete). As I walk out of the bedroom I close the door so my love can try to sleep in; I mean it is Saturday.
Good morning my Isaac, bound and determined to get to the pool as quickly as possible I force him into the bathroom to sit on the potty and then I brush his teeth (which he hates). Then it is straight to the backyard because that is where his girlfriend is or as others would call it, the pool. As soon as I have him settled with a drink and plain Cheerios I am off to get a kettlebell and weights to do walking lounges plus clean and presses. (Matriarch)
Once the workout is done I make some breakfast sausages for Isaac because I always try to start his day with protein. I throw in some laundry and start making lists for our errands the rest of the day. Also, we have a big change happening in our home where we need to have individual spaces for two more children. Though I do not want to give up my office space with a door and my Isaac can not share a room, a genius solution hits me. (Corporate Leader) I wait until breakfast with my love to present the idea and see what he thinks. He awakens, he is also hitting the weights and then looking forward to our morning Bulletproof coffee and sit down breakfast where we can plan the day out.
I start getting breakfast together and present my idea with some supporting statements and he jumps to the same conclusion - then follows with “darling, you are brilliant”. What a way to start the day. (Queen)
As we talk about the day we figure out that we need to hit Costco, on a Saturday, which we really try to avoid especially when we have Isaac. We quickly see it as an opportunity to practice walking in a store with him, which is much easier when you have two adults. Practicing walking is to break his habit of wanting to be in the cart the whole time. Before Costco we will visit Lowe's where, again, we can practice walking with Isaac. So we figure as soon as Isaac needs a break from the pool (because he is hot) we will take that opportunity to transition to the car and start our errands.
Lowe's was to get some basic home/yard maintenance items along with a new hummingbird feeder, because I love hummingbirds and they were boycotting one of my feeders. We had a thorough list in Google Keep, which we both have access to, then we divide and conquer. Quick, efficient and just enough time for Isaac to walk through the store and find the water feature area so he could play with his “side chick” water.
On to Costco, again with a thorough list in Google Keep, where we mostly stayed together and got through the store in record time on a Saturday. Isaac DID AMAZING! Even ran into an Autism mom friend! Isaac just blew me away. I need to continue to break old habits, push him, and prepare him to be an independent, confident man.
Back to the house.
Isaac again makes a beeline for the back door to get to his girlfriend and I start cleaning the house, finishing laundry, and start preparing for the next two stores we need to go to on the other side of town - which is perfect. Of course, I am still building some trust with Isaac around the pool so I grab some rosé and my pool floaty and try to get some sun and float in his general direction. He laughs, throws water at me and I am successful. As I catch up on Twitter I notice my love is killing it (seriously his intelligence is such a turn on). So I get out of the pool, dry off, walk over to his desk and give him a passionate kiss and tell him that his intelligent posts are sexy AF. (Goddess)
Just when Isaac needs a break we see our opportunity to take the drive across town to make some big purchases to see our epic solution from the morning come to fruition. At the furniture store everything is going well, we have picked everything out and now we just need to purchase and set a delivery date. Isaac is walking around being a champ then I see his shorts are wet - MAD DASH to the bathroom, a quick glance at my love who says “ I got this, just go” and by the time I get Isaac changed and cleaned up delivery is set for Monday. All I do is look at him and say “I love you, I love us and you are wonderful”. I love his confidence, his abilities to make and own decisions from the money to scheduling - the fact that I don’t have to be involved in every part of the process is new for me, but it shouldn’t be. Not only does he lead well, I can follow because of his confidence and proven track record of being outstanding in leading.
Next up Cabelas, this is where Isaac quickly found the escalator and then started to lose his patience. It all worked out well, we got in and out with what we needed.
Then it happens, fireworks on my FitBit! 10,000 steps! (Athlete)
Back at home, you guessed it Isaac is reunited with his girlfriend. I invite my love out for a cigar, we enjoy and start reflecting on the day and I start realizing it was an epic day - I may have exercised every role! Well, that’s an article I have to write. (Entrepreneur)
As it gets closer to bedtime I try to wind Isaac down while watching The Jesus Movie, it is not really working on him but I pass out. My love wakes me, “do you want to put Isaac down? Because you are falling asleep”.
I may had been exhausted but I was also stoked to do it again. I felt my worth from thinking about everything I had done along with the encouragement I got throughout the day from my love.
Be Worthy. Know Your Worth.
It has taken years to get a kitchen that has the structure to breed efficiency. Why is this so important? Some kitchen designers out there will talk about the triangle of work and how the stove, refrigerator and sink need proximity to each other.
This is not my focus.
I want organizational efficiency where every kitchen item has a home, making putting those items away quick and painless. I want a home that is clean and organized, but I don’t want to spend all my time cleaning and organizing. How did I get to this euphoric point of kitchen organization?
This is largely because I have moved a lot . Everytime I did, I had to look at each piece I was moving and I would ask myself two questions:
These questions would help me determine if they went in the donation pile. I have become very good at donating AND it feels SO good to declutter.
When you declutter your kitchen, or any space in your home, it sheds stress and frees your mind. This level of organization automates repeated processes and makes sporadic kitchen gatherings accomplished with little thought.
Mornings are hectic, and we drink bulletproof coffee on most. The mixture has multiple ingredients, yet because of the time I took to organize and put everything in its place, I have made the process effortless. This means I have more time to get lunches packed or check work email to get ahead of the day. And when I enjoy an occasional night time tea and macaron (with insightful conversation that led to the writing of this article). I was able to whip it all together in a manner of minutes thanks to the time I put into organizing.
Everything in my home has a place, but that doesn’t mean everyone else knows where it is.
I am ok with that.
When other people in my home help to put dishes or laundry or anything else away, it frees me up to do other things or just go to bed earlier. I am grateful for all the help I get, and if I find something out of place, I simply reorganize it with a HUGE smile on my face, because I am reminded that someone else took care of it.
If you can afford to hire someone and outsource your cleaning, DO IT! Do what you can to keep a clean and organized home without stressing out about it (I am working towards getting back in the I-have-a-Cleaning-Lady Club).
I hold myself to unrealistic expectations with all that I do, and I sometimes feel as if I’m falling short, but my man reminds me with compliments of how he is proud of our home. He also regularly offers to help (which I take him up on as MUCH as possible, and you should too).
I take my “Queen” role seriously and aim to have a home we are all happy to share with friends and family when they visit.
Women, be a role model and maintain a home to be proud of, and ask your man for help.
Men, if you don’t think you are contributing to the maintenance of the home, you are missing an opportunity to impress your woman as a builder and protector. Simply providing financial support is not enough. It’s so sexy to watch my man do home improvement projects and get after it.
Do you start your day with intention? Purpose? You should.
As you wake up in the morning and start thinking through all of your roles it’s important you think about what you NEED to have your #bestday. Hopefully, most days are straightforward and routine which is in itself a lifehack. Other days you need to prepare for deviation from the routine, which may include interacting with strangers, having a confrontational conversation, or just first time experiences. The important part is that you have the discipline to prepare and think about what you need to have your #bestday, and then make it happen.
I mentioned roles; do you think about all of the roles you play? If you don’t, they may grow stagnant, underperform, and instead contribute to having the #worstday, everyday.
Here are some roles I play:
Corporate Leader: My day job. Note, I do not say "employee" or "worker" or anything like that - the idea is to assign labels that also point to an objective. My goal is to make C-suite. Not be an employee or junior manager. Each day I need to have a goal that drives me closer to this end state.
Entrepreneur: The side-hustles. The average millionaire has *FIVE* different sources of income. So it's OK to pursue more. The point is to be fault-tolerant in our revenue streams.
Matriarch: This is apex-motherhood. I don't want to just be a mom; I need to be an exceptional mom. A role model for other mothers. My son Isaac is on the Autism spectrum and I need to be his advocate and pursue with absolute exceptionalism.
Queen: I want to build a home to be proud of and I do not take my homemaker tasks lightly. I am the stewardess of the kingdom. From a home improvement project of some sort to doing the laundry.
Athlete: The physical fitness tasks. Preparing for a race, roller derby bout, learning new skills like archery, and in general finding new physical challenges. Overall I need to improve my strength, speed, and flexibility. Then the obvious, most difficult part - optimizing my diet.
Angel: A divine being. I need to feed my soul as well as my body. This can be yoga, meditation, Bible study, church, et cetera. This includes my role as a friend and daughter/sister/aunt.
Goddess: Last, but not least, a lover. Being his muse. Keeping the relationship exciting and healthy.
Each of these roles deserves a thoughtful approach and if done well the ending result is fulfilling because I know I planned it to be my #bestday.
When I am prepared for the routine day, I call that #lipstickready. That is feeling I get when I put lipstick on; it usually is the last thing I put on and it finishes the look making me feel ready. On the flipside if I have a non-routine day ahead of me it is more of a #warpaintready day - mentally prepared for what is ahead, expected and unexpected.
Being #lipstickready has been studied by MIT; to read more check out a Medium article by Dekera G. Rodriguez (@dekerag on Twitter), where she clearly outlines how routines free up your brainpower to make important decisions.
Getting #warpaintready is a bit different. This requires preparing for what you have control over and being ready for the unexpected. As the famous philosopher Mike Tyson (@MikeTyson on Twitter) said “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” Are you going to be #warpaint ready for the punch in the mouth?
What is the one thing that can throw you off from being #lipstickready for your #bestday?
Do you have #warpaintready lifehacks?
Tell me about it in the comments below, or on twitter at @OfficialSBug